In my first posting, I stated that my goal was to share my experiences & help people figure out what simple things can be done to better enjoy your life, and not worry about money.
But I realised tonight after speaking with a good friend as we shared similar stories, the one thing many of us have in common, that is/was a barrier to enjoying life with family (and sometimes friends) – affecting our lives & relationships with the people we care about…LOANING MONEY!
When you loan money, unless you’re a pawn broker, the only collateral you have is that person’s word. When they don’t make every legitimate effort to pay you back, you feel betrayed, disregarded & disrespected.
Often times that person, even if they still speak to you, will almost certainly try to avoid prolonged contact. They can’t talk too much or too long for fear that you’ll ask them for the money or they might slip & tell you how much fun they’re having shopping, drinking, dining out, travelling, or [fill in the blank] …ultimately, with your money. Waiting (most certainly impatiently) for that person to pay you back begins to take effect…
I’m not saying don’t loan money, I’m saying there’s a way to loan money that will almost ALWAYS ensure you’re never disappointed, angry or stalking friends & family for the big payback…
1) NEVER lend money – the act of lending money is actually a business. Why do you think there are credit bureaus, interest rates, collectors & judges to preside over bankruptcy cases? Unless you are a bank, you are not in the business of lending money. Either offer the money as a gift or tell yourself it’s a gift [& if they pay you back, it’s a bonus].
2) NEVER lend more than you can afford to lose – if you must lend money, don’t lend more than you can do without. This way, when you don’t get the money back, you’re not in a position where you’re left struggling to resolve your own financial issues – which can make you angry & bitter.
3) NEVER ask the borrower when they’re going to pay you back – trust me, people very, very, very rarely (if ever) forget when they owe you money. Asking them for it is only going to make them either avoid you or lie to you – and either way make you angry & bitter (see the pattern here…).
4) NEVER lend money to someone who already owes you – (does this one really need an explanation???)
These simple steps will ensure that ‘money issues’ will not take away from the valuable time you could be spending with family (and sometimes friends), making memories & enjoying each others company…Trust me, life’s too short.