Dancing with hubris
Last week was an interesting week. I’ve had the opportunity to dance with the beauty and beast that is pride, and question my relationship with it.
My search to better understand the power of pride to empower and disable led me to discover a new and unfamiliar word – ‘hubris’. Once I understood what it was, I realised that ‘hubris’ can arise in various forms in every day situations.
Acknowledging the role hubris had played in my decision making process in some incidences over the years, enabled me to meditate on how I could form a healthier relationship with pride, and welcome it into my heart to eat at my soul’s table with its friends humility and understanding.
Is hubris turning your dream into a nightmare?
After a period of working part-time and loving it, I realised that I was not enjoying the feeling of freedom I had imagined. I mean what could be better, then having two whole extra days to do the things I loved. Isn’t that what we all want? Look at me, everyone I’m living the dream!
I had a lightbulb moment in the middle of my frustration. I realised that it was not more time I needed but more focus and a more comprehensive plan driven by my focus. Part of the reason for my struggle was because I had not created a practical ‘enough’ personal transition plan from full-time to part-time. As a result my two days became more of a burden than a liberty.
It’s not time I need it’s focus
The theory of those change and transition management courses was coming to bite me on the butt. As William Bridges, a specialist in Transition Management says. ‘…it isn’t the changes that do you in, it’s the transitions”.
It’s so true! I had changed to being part time but I hadn’t transitioned my lifestyle to part-time working yet. I still had a full-time job mentality and an unclear part-time plan of action.
Oops…Could my decision to go part-time of been tainted with the a touch of hubris. Hmmm…in the words of the Gnarls Barkley song…”Possibly…”Definition: Hubris ( /ËˆhjuËbrÉªs/), also hybris, means extreme pride or arrogance. Hubris often indicates a loss of contact with reality and an overestimation of one’s own competence or capabilities, especially when the person exhibiting it is in a position of power.
Change is cool. It is the transition that is the painful part
Fortunately now I knew what was happening, I had a great opportunity to do something about it. This is where my emotional intelligence checklist was really needed. Time to get the MSCEIT toolkit out...(if you know me or have read a Fresh Eyes post before, you will know that I am passionate about the MSCEIT Emotional Intelligence model as a useful everyday tool to help you to create practical steps to manage your emotions to make better decisions).
Using the four MSCEIT steps, I asked myself the following questions:
1. IDENTIFY: How am I feeling?
Frustrated bordering on anxious
2. UNDERSTAND: Why am I honestly feel like this?
Because things have changed and I haven’t revisited or revised my plan to suit ‘me now’ rather than the ‘old me’
3. USE: Now I’m aware of why I feel this way what can I do about it?
Revise my plan, humble myself, admit that things have changed and seek and ask for help, if necessary
4. MANAGE: OK. What action do I need to take to address this to create the best outcome?
Write down a plan of action, step by step; with reasons why this is the best course of action and talk to the people this plan may affect to gain their support.
What you gonna do about it?
Needless to say, the situation has been resolved and I will be working full-time until a revised transition plan has been put in place. This process has also given me time to prioritise and slowly transition out the things that are now of less importance. I also had to admit…I’m not wonder-woman and I’m not as young as I used to be…GULP!
Don’t get me wrong, the transition is still painful. We all know how to do the things we used to do – the place we are transitioning from served us well. However, I have now learnt that once you are brave enough to be honest with yourself and face the fear head on; you’ll make it through the transition and a whole new world you never knew, will open up inside and out of you.
Embrace change. Plan for transition
Today I am embracing the excitement of change, feeling the fear of transition and just doing it because, like cleaning if you don’t address it, you will create a smell you are forced to deal with eventually. Why wait till things turn bad?
Look at a situation you are ignoring today with Fresh Eyes. Is hubris stopping you from making changes? Act now. Empower yourself using your emotional intelligence.