‘The only reward for self pity, is more self pity and validation that you were right, to feel sorry for yourself in the first place.’ Ken Barnes
That is a quote I created many years in state of heightened emotion, the week after my car was stolen by gun point.
It came back to me this week after a discussion with a friend of mine who is having a challenging time. I challenged him to look beyond his troubles and see the lessons that could be learned from the experience.
What does it take to learn from adversity?
In times of trouble it takes courage, humility and self-awareness to see the lessons that life has for us. Sometimes our worst experiences can provide our most valuable life lessons.
Self-pity only serves to cloud our focus. Throughout our lives we will have bad experiences from time to time and make some bad decisions and mistakes. Taking responsibility for our mistakes is the first step to learning from them.
Do you blame others when you’ve made a mistake?
You can only learn from a mistake once you admit you have made a mistake. As soon as you start blaming other people (or the universe itself) you distance yourself from any possible lesson. If you courageously stand-up and honestly say, ‘This may have been my mistake and I am responsible’ the possibilities for learning will move towards you.
In the words of the father of motivational speakers Napoleon Hill from his timeless classic book Think & Grow Rich‘, ‘In every adversity in life there is a seed of equivalent benefit.’
Take responsibility, remove the self-pity and reflect on your past mistakes and experiences, you may find there are some valuable lessons to be learnt.
Adversity provides an invaluable time for self-reflection.
This invaluable period of reflection is only possible when you take ownership of your circumstances and look to yourself first for the answers in a rational and non-emotional way.
It’s good to share, I always welcome your thoughts, use the comments box below.
Have a phenomenal week
For more information on me visit www.kenbarnes.co.uk